The Middah Project: Heshvan--Equanimity

Parashat Lekh Lekha ∙ Genesis 12:1-17:27
Middah for the Month of Heshvan: Equanimity

I write to you this week from Jerusalem.

The saga of the foremothers and forefathers begins in this week’s Torah portion with Avram (later to become Abraham) hearing – and acting upon – the Divine imperative to leave his ancestral home – he hears the words “lekh lekha” – get up and go! – and he responds.

This week, the Bay Area Jewish Community publicly reminds itself that we are not immune to situations of domestic abuse. Shalom Bayit, our non-profit agency that supports battered partners in creating a life of safety, has asked spiritual leaders to speak about this issue in the context of this week’s Torah portion. How hard it is to leave a difficult – often dangerous – situation without the support of community. Shalom Bayit reminds us that we must say “hineni- here I am” in order that an abused partner will have the courage to heed the voice of “lekh lekha”.

Particularly in this context, we are reminded that our middah (the ethical soul trait we are exploring this month) of equanimity does not mean passivity.

For the victim of domestic abuse, cultivating equanimity might involve learning to center and to hear the inner voice of truth, reaffirming ones self-worth and not accepting the voice of the abuser as ones own. For the abuser, equanimity may be learning to be less reactive and to modulate feelings of anger and jealousy, looking inward for the source of the feelings, and not projecting violence (physical or emotional) onto one’s partner.

Certainly, the stories of Abraham and Sarah’s family are not stories of mythically-perfect relationships without reactivity and anger. Often we learn about the way we would like to be by seeing examples of how we prefer not to be. As we read the book of Genesis this year, I invite us to allow the narrative to shine a mirror into our own souls.

With blessing for the path of cultivating hokhmat ha-lev, wisdom of heart,


Rabbi SaraLeya

8 Heshvan 5770