Ki Tisa at Torah Study, a special guest post by Keith Weinstein

After Rabbi Sara Leya’s Drasha  on Shabbat Eve, the Torah study group met on Saturday morning and delved further into the significance of Moses desire to see God face to face.  We found ourselves talking about a far range of topics like inviting wealth and Neuro-Linguistic Programming.  It’s a lively group and we encourage you to join us if you have the inclination. 

There are actually two other topics in this weeks parsha that warn us of the hazards of seeing: the census and the golden calf.  In the first, the Israelites are told not to take a head count but rather to have everyone give a shekel.  Even with this precaution, many thousands die of plague because the count has occurred.  Is this a warning about the danger of seeing people as objects to be counted?  Certainly there is the risk in modern times of deceiving ourselves into reducing life to a numerical value.  Still, it is pragmatic that when you are trying to get organized you need to know how many people are in the tribe.  Econ 101 certainly says so. 

In the second topic, the Israelites, terrified in the desert and unable to bear waiting any longer for Moses to come down from the mountain, persuade Aaron to make for them a golden calf which they can see and worship.  For this sin, the original tablets are destroyed and many more thousands are killed.  Our tradition warns us strongly against making a visual representation of Divinity.  What is without limit (Eyn Soph) cannot be reduced to physical form.  Yet, visual images and idols have been a central and vibrant part of human spirituality from time immemorial.  The Ancient Egyptians were not alone in this.  Maria Gimbatus and Rianna Eisler certainly say yea. 

Finally, Moses asks to see G!d and is told that this is beyond what is possible to experience and yet live.  Instead, G!d arranges to shelter Moses in the cleft of a rock and cover him as S/he passes by and then allow him to see His/Her back.  Even Moses, it seems, who has been sitting and talking with G!d for weeks, has this burning desire not merely to hear but to see G!d with his own eyes. 

In seeing, we think we know a thing, don’t we?  “A picture’s worth a thousand words.”  Yet this kind of knowing accentuates the surface of things and the desire to possess it.  “You can’t tell a book by its cover,” and "still waters run deep," are the antithesi here.  Well then what is below the surface? 

Vision is a latter development in evolution and much of the brain is devoted to de-coding and processing visual input.  Speculatively, we can say that vision is further removed than the other senses from the experience of oneness and connectedness out of which conscious emerges in both infancy and evolution.  Sight emphasizes separation and boundaries, hearing and touch reinforce connection.  And that sixth sense, kinesthetic feeling, gives us direct access to intuition (the gut) and the embodied experience of Shekhina (the shiver in our spine and the melting of our hearts).

We humans want many things and long for a few.  When most of us get down to the bone, our hearts want to love and to let love in (though a few of us hold out for power it’s true).  Counting keeps us focused on the many, mostly money and the things it can buy.  Wealth is when we have what we need to thrive and grow and it is important to actualize this desire.  But wealth is not spending our energy, chasing what we don’t need, because we’re caught in the hype.  What leads us towards hype?  Visual images primarily.  We see a thing and want to possess it, as the advertising industry knows so well.  Whatever we have, it is important to practice “Dayenu,” (it’s enough) so we can be present to where we actually are. 

Idols like the golden calf orient us towards a fixed image of what we desire.  The pageant of the Academy Awards and the crop of new films it displays dazzles us with a brilliance and beauty that might just rival what Aaron was able to produce from gold and jewels in the desert.  At best, film can expand our imaginations, giving us courage and inspiration.  At worst, films can serve as a substitute for our lives, helping us numb out to the challenges and opportunities that greet us each day.  Undoubtedly, film is a visual feast. But, “it’s not the same as reading the book.”

Finally, not many of us get invited to sit with God and write the rules, let alone ask for a personal cameo appearance.  Still in our Kaballat Shabbat service this past Friday night when we sang Chochmat’s version of the Priestly Blessing for the newborn Elon Yehuda, I had the distinct feeling that the Presence was with us.  I suppose a baby on the Torah surrounded by a community of love is a scene that the Shekinah wouldn’t miss.  But don’t count on it.  Just believe. 

Keith Weinstein
3/7/10   

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Parashat Miketz: Genesis 41:1-44:17

Middah for the Month of Tevet: Delight

“Ki-yitron ha-or min ha hoshekh – the most preferred light comes from the darkness.” (Ecclesiastes / Kohelet 2:13)…as translated by my teacher, Rabbi Moshe Aharon Krassen: “the light from darkness is a superior light”.

Not only are we approaching the Winter Solstice, but this week is the new moon of Tevet – the time of the darkest nights of the year. Into this darkness we light our Hanukkah candles. This light is more than symbolic, we truly draw hope and optimism and a new way of seeing into our souls and from our souls into the world.

We are enjoined to place our illuminated Hanukkah menorahs in a window so that the light shines out into the street. In a posthumously published book of teachings by Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach, we are reminded that what is most special about the light of these candles is that they light up the exterior with light from the inside. On Hanukkah, those interior soul-places, which are often dark and poorly-illuminated, become candles which radiate light and good will toward the outside.

Let’s send blessing for candles that are set aflame on the darkest nights of the year, and for those places inside ourselves that yearn to become sources of healing, warmth and light.

May we all experience the wonder of children as we gaze at our candles this week – and with this intention begin to contemplate the soul-trait of delight.

Rabbi SaraLeya

28 Kislev 5770

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Parashat VaYeishev (Genesis 37:1- 40:23) – Shabbat for blessing the Month of Tevet

Middah for the Month of Kislev: Gratitude

Hanukkah starts Friday night!!!

“We bless you, Source of Life, who made miracles in those days, at this season – bazman hazeh. Thank you for giving us life to enable us to reach this moment – lazman hazeh.”

These are the words we recite after lighting our Hanukkah candles. The rabbis have long taught that hidden in these words are the understanding that the miracle of light did not just happen once a long time ago, but is renewed each and every year during this Solstice season.

As we kindle the candles of the hanukkiah, our eyes are bathed in light from another dimension, from the timeless place where miracles happen. This is healing for our sense of sight so that we can truly see beyond the trivial and the ordinary into the essential. Just as the olive oil for the menorah in the temple represented the distillation of the essence of the olives, so the light of the Hanukkah candles brings the essence of our souls to awareness.

Our spiritual sight is renewed as we gaze into the candlelight. We see our life as it is fundamentally a – miraculous, mysterious, sometimes challenging, but often joyful – gift from the Divine. So, this Hanukkah, let our intention be to look at each other and at our universe with renewed wonder – to see the soul and not the garment.

I hope to see you Saturday night at our community Hanukkah party (if not in body, please be with us in spirit).

With blessing for light and clear vision,

Rabbi SaraLeya

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Parashat Toldot: Genesis 25:19- 28:9

Middah for the month of Kislev: Gratitude

This week is the new moon – Rosh Hodesh – of Kislev, a month in which both the Hebrew and secular calendars converge in calling us to gratitude.

The holiday of Thanksgiving, this year on the 9th day of Kislev at the time of the waxing moon, overtly asks us to pause, share a festive meal with family and friends, and consciously acknowledge our appreciation of the natural world for its sustenance. On this Hag HaHodayah, the day of giving thanks, we recognize our indebtedness to the Source of All.

Then, on the 25th of Kislev, with the waning moon, the holydays of Hanukah arrive, a time of gratefulness for the miraculous, a time of consciously bringing more light into our world. The daily blessing for gratitude – Birkat Hoda-ah recited thrice daily in the Amidah, is expanded to explicitly express thankfulness for past wonders, and implicitly to acknowledge the ongoing miracles in our lives.

Two levels of gratitude: for the ordinary and for the extraordinary. Both are especially recalled during Kislev: Thanksgiving Day rituals emphasize honor for our natural world; Hanukah memorializes the miraculous order of Existence. Both are essential to a sense of grateful awe.

With blessing for generosity and wisdom of heart as we deepen our communal practice of gratitude,

Rabbi SaraLeya

30 Heshvan 5770 Read the rest

Parashat Hayei Sara — Genesis 23:1-25:18

Middah for the Month of Heshvan: Equanimity

“V’Avraham zakein, ba bayamim, va-Adonai beirakh et Avraham bakol – and Abraham was old, advanced in days, and Hashem blessed Abraham with all.” (B’reisheit 24:1)

The late Slonimer Rebbe, in his opus, Netivot Shalom, reminds us that each day uniquely illuminates a specific spark, showing us a tiny piece of what we must accomplish during our lifetime. Each day is a special creation, unique unto itself. Each day has its own integrity. When we bring intentionality to our living of every day, the sparks coalesce to create a vessel that receives Divine love and bounty, enabling us to share this richness with the world.

We hope, then, to receive the blessing of Abraham in this parasha – to be blessed with all that we need for our purpose to be fulfilled. As we advance in days and years, we pray for the strength and integrity to be present to life’s vicissitudes with equanimity. In this way, we can, b’ezrat Hashem (with Heaven’s help), each become a source of blessing to our world.

Rabbi SaraLeya
23 Heshvan 5770 Read the rest

Parashat Vayera∙ Genesis 18:1-22:24

Parashat Vayera∙ Genesis 18:1-22:24

Middah for the Month of Heshvan: Equanimity

At the start of Parashat Vayera, Abraham is sitting in the opening of his tent, in the heat of the day: “YHVH appeared to him….and [Abraham]…lifted up his eyes and saw 3 men standing before him”. (B’reisheit 18:1-5).

Presumably Abraham is resting, recovering from the pain of his circumcision at age 99, and from the miraculous recent events including new names for himself and his wife, the news that 90 year old Sarah will birth a son, the promise of a covenantal relationship throughout the generations, and that Yishmael, his first son, will also become the father of a great nation. [Incidentally, later, v 18:19 – we receive the first hint that our covenant with Divinity will involve walking the spiritual path and of righteousness and justice.]

How does one maintain equanimity in the midst of the turmoil of such events? The mystical tradition teaches that Abraham is sitting in deep meditation. Through meditation, we experience an opening into worlds not otherwise accessible. As we continually re-focus our awareness on the present moment – yeshuv ha-da’at, the return to consciousness (a Hebrew translation of equanimity as we have discussed previously) – we experience the connection with Consciousness. As our verse teaches us, by sitting in the opening, Infinity can be manifest to us.

Of course, then, when we open our eyes, the verse continues, we see each other and our world, reaffirming our knowing – da’at – that it is through the manifest world we know and experience Infinity. And this knowing leads to actions of hesed, of loving-kindness.

The blessing of this practice is that the ability to re-center and re-connect with the godplace within, will, over time, bring less reactivity and more equanimity to our moment-to-moment interactions.

Writing from Jerusalem,

Rabbi SaraLeya

14 Heshvan 5770 Read the rest

The Middah Project: Heshvan--Equanimity

Parashat Lekh Lekha ∙ Genesis 12:1-17:27
Middah for the Month of Heshvan: Equanimity

I write to you this week from Jerusalem.

The saga of the foremothers and forefathers begins in this week’s Torah portion with Avram (later to become Abraham) hearing – and acting upon – the Divine imperative to leave his ancestral home – he hears the words “lekh lekha” – get up and go! – and he responds.

This week, the Bay Area Jewish Community publicly reminds itself that we are not immune to situations of domestic abuse. Shalom Bayit, our non-profit agency that supports battered partners in creating a life of safety, has asked spiritual leaders to speak about this issue in the context of this week’s Torah portion. How hard it is to leave a difficult – often dangerous – situation without the support of community. Shalom Bayit reminds us that we must say “hineni- here I am” in order that an abused partner will have the courage to heed the voice of “lekh lekha”.

Particularly in this context, we are reminded that our middah (the ethical soul trait we are exploring this month) of equanimity does not mean passivity.

For the victim of domestic abuse, cultivating equanimity might involve learning to center and to hear the inner voice of truth, reaffirming ones self-worth and not accepting the voice of the abuser as ones own. For the abuser, equanimity may be learning to be less reactive and to modulate feelings of anger and jealousy, looking inward for the source of the feelings, and not projecting violence (physical or emotional) onto one’s partner.

Certainly, the stories of Abraham and Sarah’s family are not stories of mythically-perfect relationships without reactivity and anger. Often we learn about the way we would like to be by seeing examples of how we prefer not to be. As we read the book of Genesis this year, I invite us to allow the narrative to shine a mirror into our own souls.

With blessing for the path of cultivating hokhmat ha-lev, wisdom of heart,


Rabbi SaraLeya

8 Heshvan 5770 Read the rest

Parashat B’reisheit (Genesis 1:1-6:8)

Once again we begin the cycle of studying our holy Torah, plumbing her text for meaning and insight. Genesis’ weekly readings are fast paced. This week the narrative encompasses not only the creation of the world but the archetypal stories of the first family – Adam, Eve and their children.

Last week, as we gathered in the sukkah, Rabbi Jonathan Omer-Man brought us a very deep teaching (from a contemporary Jerusalem text called Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh) about the names Cain and Abel – in Hebrew, Kayin and Hevel.

The root of the Kayin is related to acquisition, possessions – our very way of being in the material world: kinyan is the process of ownership. Hevel, on the other hand, is a word connoting insubstantiality; it means vapor, breath, emptiness, worthlessness. The book Kohelet (Ecclesiastes), read in its entirely during Sukkot, uses the word hevel repeatedly to describe the difficulty the author has in making sense of human existence.

The story of Cain and Abel, then, is not just a story about sibling rivalry that highlights the unintended outcome of jealous, angry, and violent action. The brothers’ names bring us the opportunity to meditate on how a name can affect one’s way of being in the world: perhaps we are asked to contrast attachment with non-attachment. How does attributing these meanings to their names affect understanding of the story?

I invite us to consider this extra layer of meaning to a very old story and to gather together this Shabbat for an even deeper exploration of these ideas.

With blessing for wisdom of heart in our ongoing process of learning and study,

Rabbi SaraLeya
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SUKKOT 2009

So we have traveled through the ups and downs of Rosh HaShanna and Yom Kippur, and we now find ourselves in the holiday of Sukkot, where it is customary to eat and sleep in small huts or booths, fragile structures with roofs made of tree branches, corn stalks, or other organic material. One should be able to see the stars through the roof material; this is a time when we are living in a temporary dwelling and the separation between us and the heavens is reduced. The sukkah reminds us of the temporary shelters in which the Israelites lived during their years of wandering in the wilderness, and at the same time it brings us a visceral, embodied experience our vulnerability to the elements, to the passage of time, and to the viscisitudes of circumstance.

On Sukkot we read Ecclesiastes, or Kohelet in Hebrew. You may be familiar with a traditional, and rather bleak translation of the beginning of Kohelet:

Vanity of vanities; all is vanity…

But in a more contemporary translation of the text, Rami Shapiro gives us an alternative perspective on these words and on the deep meaning of Sukkot. His translation, THE WAY OF SOLOMON, Finding Joy and Contentment in the Wisdom of Ecclesiastes, begins:

Emptiness! Emptiness upon emptiness!

The world is fleeting of form, empty of permanence, void of surety,

Without certainty.

Like a breath breathed once and gone,

All things rise and fall.

Understand emptiness, and tranquility replaces anxiety.

Understand emptiness, and compassion replaces jealousy.

Understand emptiness, and you will cease to excuse suffering

And begin to alleviate it.

Solomon, the presumed author of the original text, is passing on his own hard-won wisdom to us, his heirs, on Sukkot. He is telling us that we all fall into the same traps that have captured us for millennia. He is saying that we are constantly trying to get somewhere, accomplish something, all ultimately in a vain attempt to ward off our awareness of life’s impermanence. He repeatedly asserts that we suffer because of our illusions of permanence, separateness, and control.

And just when we feel overwhelmed by the harsh reality which he insists we confront, he offers us his prescription for peace:

Life is fleeting, the passing of moments upon moments.

Embrace them as they come; do not cling to them as they go.

In this alone is there tranquility.

So, this year as we spend time with community in the sukkah, may we be blessed with the wisdom to be present with What Is, savoring the sweetness as it lands on our tongues,

Opening to whatever is in front of us, with trust and faith.

- Laura Goldman, LCSW

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